Yes I am aware of the fact that I just quoted a Justin Bieber song as the title of my blog. And as much as that song has a different message than what I’m about to write, that title just speaks to me…kinda makes me chuckle but it does.
Been doing a shit ton of self reflection in the past few weeks. Having a tiny human that you have to raise into a decent man will do that to ya. And if I’m honest it’s not just that. Sometimes there are certain occurrences in life that slap a mirror in from of your face that make you question what you did wrong, how you can grow, and whether or not its even worth another thought.
I was talking to my girlfriend today and she says that she goes through this once every few months which made me breath a sigh of relief that I’m not just nuts. I mean maybe I am a little loony but hey who isn’t?
So back to the Bieber title. “You should go and love yourself…” Man this one hits at the heartstrings for me. Self love is the hardest kind of love for me. As much as I can come across as a confident head strong woman who has her shit together, I’m often a scatter brained shell of the person I portray. Perhaps that’s extreme to say that because when I look in the mirror it’s kinda half and half. Jeckle and Hyde if you will. When I take a gander at my own reflection one person is successful, driven, proud and strong. The other is scared shitless, overwhelmed and insecure.
Lawdy I sound like a textbook multiple personality case. Perhaps its a hazard of the trade. One part radio personality and one part just plain ole me. I mean not that I’m not as real as humanly possible on air, but I feel like for the most part it’s my job and responsibility to make people smile and not boggle them down with my emotional crap.
Geez I have writer’s ADD!
Back to the loving yourself stuff…see I have such a hard time with the concept that it’s difficult to even write about it. My fingers are pausing at the moment trying to find the right words to say. This concept is so foreign to me. SELF LOVE. You see self love is not vanity. At least not in the way that I want to learn it. I’ve had more than my fair share of times of vanity in life and that gets old really quick.
In the past few weeks I’ve realized the self love that I want to have. The self love I want to teach my son. I’ve got a few self love goals that if your so inclined I’ll break down for you.
1.) Respect yourself. This for me means not over reacting in situations beyond my control and letting my emotions get the best of me. I have in the past embarrassed myself this way. (Can someone please create at control alt delete button for life?) Tomorrow is another day and everything happens just the way it should.
2.) Respect others. Remember that people don’t always see things the way you do and your way is not always the right way. Not everyone knows your struggles so be patient when they are reacting to you.
3.) Create healthy boundaries. This one goes for you and others in your life. Decide for yourself how far you will let someone push you past the point of forgiveness and also pay attention to when you are pushing someone too far.
4.) Realize that you are worthy. You are worthy of it all. The fairy tale. That Cinderella moment where you find yourself. Whatever that moment is. Be it a job, a diamond ring, a baby….you ARE WORTHY OF YOUR WILDEST DREAMS!
Now if it sounds like I’m getting a bit preachy it’s only because I’m preaching to myself. This life is a process that now matter how old you are, how many kids you have, or how much life experience you have under your belt, life just keeps evolving.
Did any of this makes sense? LOL if not thanks for reading. Even if it does come across as mumbo-jumbo it feels good to “write it out”