I feel like I wanna smack somebody Turn around and bitch slap somebody
But I ain’t goin’ out bro (no, no, no)
I ain’t givin’ into it (no, no, no) Anxieties bash my mind in Terrorizing my soul like Bin Laden
But I ain’t fallin’ down bro (no, no, no)
I won’t lose control bro (no, no, no) Shackle and chained My soul feels stained
I can’t explain got an ich on my brain Lately my whole aim is to maintain And regain control of my mainframe
My bloods boiling its beatin’ out propaine My train of thoughts more like a runaway train I’m in a fast car drivin’ in a fast lane In the rain and I’m might just hydroplaine
I don’t fear none of my enemies
And I don’t fear bullets from Uzi’s
I’ve been dealing with something thats worse than these
That’ll make you fall to your knees and thats the The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry Paranoias brought me to my knees Lord please please please Take away my anxiety
The sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
My head keeps running away my brother
The only thing making me stay my brother
But I won’t give into it bro (no, no, no) Gotta get myself back now God, I can’t let my mind be Tell my enemy is my own Gots to find my inner wealth Gots to hold up my thoughts
I can’t get caught (no, no, no)
I can’t give into it now (no, no, no)
Emotions are trapped set on lock
Got my brain stuck goin through the motions Only I know what’s up I’m filled up with pain Tryin’ to gain my sanity
Everywhere I turn its a dead end infront of me With nowhere to go gotta shake this anxiety Got me feelin’ strange paranoia took over me And its weighin’ me down And I can’t run any longer, yo Knees to the ground
I don’t fear none of my enemies
And I don’t fear bullets from Uzi’s
I’ve been dealing with something thats worse than these
That’ll make you fall to your knees and thats the
The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
The sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
That song has been on repeat for the better part of ten years in my life. As I’m typing this much like most of these tell-all posts I don’t know where to start. So I guess it’s just best to be out with it right??
I am a woman who suffers from SEVERE anxiety.
I know to some it seems like so what? We all get anxious. We all let our nerves get the best of us from time to time. That is true. But in a world of someone who suffers from anxiety its never that simple. Its never as easy as just breath and relax. LORD I HATE THAT WORD!
I hate it because I hear it so often. I hate it because a lot of the time I’m incapable of doing it when I’m trapped in a world of angst beyond my control.
When my anxiety hits me its like I’m on a roller coaster at its highest peak ready to enjoy the free fall of the ride but I get stuck at the top. Stuck there to just suffer with the fear that I might fall, but I might also stay there in the in-between. It’s a feeling like no other and it sucks.
Outwardly I’m a woman who has it all together. I have an amazing job, an incredible healthy baby boy, and the best friends any human being could ask for. I sit in front of a microphone everyday that reaches more than 2 million people and I don’t bat and eyelash. I can step in front of celebs and strut in my stilettos in arena stages full of thousands of people and feel at home. But when the lights dim and the mics turn off….that inner asshole called anxiety bites me in the ass. Doing what I do for a living almost makes me feel worse about it sometimes. It’s like I don’t understand how I can be so poised in situations where the average person would be shitting their pants, but for me the simplest of things can send me into a tailspin.
The last five months have been filled with so many changes that my anxiety is at an all time high. Those that know me are aware of those changes but I really don’t wish to go into them at this time. Sorry to be cryptic but this just isn’t the post for all that….
I got to thinking today about the patterns of my life and just how long I’ve been dealing with anxiety and never really realized it. I think its because until now i always had a scapegoat to deal…
In my teens I did drugs.
In my early twenties i went to the club and drank the nights away.
In my last twenties I let the docs prescribe and medication that would help (NEVER doing that again)
And now as a mommy…. I don’t have those fall backs. I won’t fall into those unhealthy crutches. My baby boy means to much. And in so many ways I’m all he has.
Normally I have some witty or inspiration thing to say…but today…I’m just kinda spent. And I really have to give myself a break and be ok with that. The one thing I will say is this…if you suffer from anxiety I want to send you a virtual hug.
Usually when I write abut anything juicy I’m talking about Juicy Couture but this particular time I’m writing about actual juice. I must apologize for the crappy instagram pic but I forgot to take a picture of my latest juicing venture before I devoured them. After posting that instagram pic I had a lot of ladies inquiring as to the pro’s and cons of my juicing adventure so I figured I would share. So here’s where it all started….
I’m going to Jamaica for Thanksgiving in less than a week and I am so excited! It’s the first time I’m going out of the country without family (yes at 33) so I want to make the most out of this trip. I.E. I want to eat, drink, be merry and look good in a bikini. What girl doesn’t right?
Now before this post turns into a body shaming thing it’s really not about that. I’m 5’3″ and 115 bls. Well actually I was 120 prior to the cleanse. And let me say this before I continue, there is NOTHING wrong with that! I just wanted to kick start a road back to a healthier me. If you follow this blog at all you know that 8 months ago I made the big move to Atlanta and started my new job at Power 96.1. I love my new job and adore my new city but my fitness routine has suffered immensely from this lifestyle change. My schedule is busier, I don’t have a gym membership yet, my running has been spotty at best and there’s the damn bagel Friday at work. Add to it that I’m a girl who loves craft beer, wine, cheese and brunches…. Stick a fork in me and my healthy ways are all but done.
So about a month ago I started going to hot yoga again. I’ve pretty disciplined with it going a few times a week which has been awesome, but it hasn’t been enough to make me feel healthy and strong. Plus my noshing habits have still been off. I mean I eat well at home but sometimes my schedule doesn’t allow that. I bring my own snacks to work but all too often there are clients bringing in subs, or cupcakes or ice cream for us to sample and talk about on air. I mean that’s fine once in a blue moon but when its on a regular basis it can be an issue for the chick that’s chillin’ with her gluten free sweet potatoes chips. You see that’s the thing, I never used to crave the crap as long as I had my own wholesome munchies on hand. Hence why I decided to do a juice cleanse. I wanted to restart my body. While doing some research on cleanses I read this one article that said “If you give your car and oil change when needed why don’t you do this for your body.” After reading that all systems were a go and I was ready for the go-go juice!
I chose to do a three day cleanse and there just so happened to be a place fdown the street from my apratment that provides cold pressed juices. It’s recommended that you do a 5-7 day juice cleanse but for me Rome wasn’t built in a day so I decided to start small. If you live in the Atlanta area you have to check out Kale Me Crazy. They’re juices were actually pretty tasty and you can order daily so if you decide you want to extend your cleanse another day you easily can.
Now on to the nitty gritty of the three days. I know your about to give me the “Pfffffffttttttt GURL BYE” when you read what I’m about to say….but it was honestly really easy. To me it was all about discipline. I hand to kind mind f*ck myself in a way. And by that I mean breaking the relationship I had with the act of chewing. If I was honest with myself I wasn’t actually hungry throughout the three days. i only craved food when I would smell it. You aren’t starving because your getting all of the daily nutrients you need. You drink a juice every two hours so it was similar to the eating schedule I already had. I just wasn’t chomping.
The only thing that I found a little bit of a struggle is the AFTER. The end of my cleanse came at the weekend. You know, the time you go to dinner with friends and go to brunch on Sunday. Even though your done juicing you can’t just jump back into gulping mimosas and bindging on eggs benedict. Well I mean you could but then your hard work would be for nothing and you would soon develop and intimate relationship with Mr. Potty. I read a few more articles on juicing and found that there are some strong emotional correlations that come along with juicing. Much like fasting in the bible. I honestly found this to be true for myself because even though I was breaking from all that I had known I felt centered, clear and productive when I wasn’t focusing on where my next meal topped off with a glass of Pinot Grigio was going to be. I had some good old self time that was as much needed as the kick start to my metabolism.
All in all I am super happy with my juicing journey. Dare I say that I may go back for the 5 day cleanse next time. Jamaica here I come!!!
Once I purchased my fancy schmancy camera I vowed that I would stop using crappy phone/Instagram shots for my blog, but for this post the picture is relevant. Plus I’m not about to stand in front of the mirror with my professional camera trying to capture a decent angle of my rack.
One thing before I get into the nitty-gritty of this post. If your one of the four males that reads my stuff I’ll be kind and give you a disclaimer here….
I’m going to talk about my PERIOD. Yes that thing that requires tampons! Gasp!
I can just hear the scampering clicks of men desperately trying to get away from this site right now. Why are men so afraid of period talk? I mean it happens to us every month. If your into girls and you ever want a relationship you guys are bound to have a run in with it at least once in your life. It seems like any mention of red tide comes out and all the dudes in the room get all 4th grade and take themselves to their happy place. Grow up ya pussies!
Whoops. Haha. Hey I warned you it was that time of the month. On to my point.
I took that pic the other day after a sweaty gym session and one of my friends commented that my boobs look like soccer balls. You can tell he’s been avidly watching the World Cup. I have always had big ladies so I usually don’t pay any attention to such comments but at second glace they do really look like soccer balls. You would think I had a recent trip to the plastic surgeon or soemthing. This is all due to my period. The last few months it has just been horrendous!!!!! Not that any period is a trip to Disneyland but honestly I’m concerned.
My cramps have been more painful.
My stomach is damn near distended when it bloats.
I’m so exhausted you would think I’m narcoleptic.
Flow is HEA-VY.
My boobs are super sore and HUUUUUUGE!!!
I know what your thinking ladies. That I should quit my whining and get some Midol. Honestly I’m no stranger to tough monthlys being that I became a woman at 12 and they have always been harsh. But is this Endometriosis or something? I know, I know. Go to the doctor.
Music is the lyrical heartbeat of my soul.
My stories are beautifully illustrated with with its sound.
When life gets too hard for truth my words may fail, but the melodies speak the truth that my mouth cannot.
It’s nothing short of amazing when someone speaks that language too.
The world as I have known it has been filled with Black and White.
Impenetrable lines with no chance of changing shade.
Here’s to crossing the line, taking the leap of faith and adding a little Grey.
Well hi again!!! Sorry its been so long but I’ve been super busy, and my site as you can see got a little makeover! Whatcha think? I’m so in love with it!!! Feel free to click around and check out all the new little do-dads that have been added. I really have to thank my girl Tawsha Connell for putting my vision to life. She is so incredibly talented and understands “Riley Speak” like an experienced linguist who is fluent in Mumbo Jumbo. Tawsha, YOU ROCK MY SOCKS!!! Thank you for everything!
For those of you that have followed my little corner of the world since the start your probably wondering what happened to “Cheap Diva”. Don’t worry, I’ll still be posting my fabulous cheap finds. I’m just branching out a little bit. I really wanted to blog sooner because I have so many goodies that I want to share, but my little website isn’t the only thing in my life that’s been revamped. Insert drum roll here…..
I”M MOVING TO ATLANTA!!!!!!
YEP! I’m getting on the roller coaster ride that is my life once more and moving to the big city to be a Co-Host at Power 96.1 with Scotty Kay. Honestly this move was not planned at all. I had it in my head that Nashville was going to be my last stop but as always, God has his plan for me and I am so very blessed. Actually blessed doesn’t even begin to cover it. This is the kind of job that I started radio for. Its so surreal. So crazy. Such a dream opportunity. Ok quick somebody pinch me! No wait don’t because if this is a dream I don’t want to wake up!
I’ll be blogging more about my new journey but for now I wanna show you a few of my favorite things.
“Cinderella proved that a new pair of shoes can change your life.” ~ Pinterest
“A thing of beauty is a joy for ever.” ~ John Keats
“The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.” ~ Steel Magnolias
“Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.” ~ Elizabeth Taylor
“Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” ~ Rachel Zoe
“Diamonds are a girl’s best friend”~ Marilyn Monroe
“A woman who doesn’t wear perfume has no future.” ~ Coco Chanel
When you look at that picture what do you see? If you follow this blog at all you may be familiar with that girl. If you just so happened to stumble across my little corner of the world at random today then hello! That image you see above is me… R!LEY COUTURE or as very few know me anymore Raquel Segarra.
The reason I ask you what you see when you look at that picture whether you are familiar with me or not, is because I have been questioning what others see in me quite often lately. For me that image is deceiving. It covers hurt, anxiety and fear. I suppose in times of turmoil its a natural reaction for me to look inward and criticize. Mind you I was not always this way. Once upon a time I was so very sure that I was such a master of my own universe that the idea of seeing past the end of my own nose was as foreign as the idea of unicorns existing among us. I was confident, arrogant and self serving. Now before you decide to click away from this post thinking its nothing more than a pity party just bare with me. A point is coming I promise.
In the image you see above the makeup is abundant, the eyelashes are false, and the hair is my go-to clip in weave. Does this make me fake? Or is this just a better representation of what I want my image to be? Be the best self you can be is what all self help gurus tell us right? Looking even further that girl looks joyous, excited and put together. It is not to say that I am never those things but that picture was taken meres month ago and in this moment I can say that I honestly don’t feel that way. Enter the struggle between all that is my public persona and my personal life. But one thing I have always enjoyed about the cross pollination between the two is my ability to be open and share to the point of TMI. Someone described me the other day as having a wall. This bothered me to my core. Me, the girl that believes in fairy tales and nine times out of ten over shares has a WALL?
Again…. a noteworthy point is coming.
This season of life has presented me with a set of challenges that I have not yet experienced to this level. Plainly put my health has not been good. I am scared and have no answers as of yet. I have been trying to put on a brave face and hide it as much as I can from those that solely know my public persona. Its my job to entertain and that has always been my joy. When I am behind a microphone your smile is my sole purpose. Changing your day in a positive way is the goal.
Who am I without that?
But now my brave front seems to be seeping into my real life presenting itself as a wall. Even as I type this I think why is it so hard for me to openly admit that here? That I am human and I may possibly be sick? Here, in this place where I have shared everything. My heartbreaks and my triumphs. My highest and lowest moments. I suppose its because its beyond my control.
Or is it?
Self help gurus also often say that attitude is everything. More than that my faith tells me that all things are possible with God. Told ya I had a point…
Here it is.
I was talking to my sister about this yesterday and after a hour long inspirational conversation she sent me this…
If you looked at the length of the video at decided to not watch it all the way through don’t feel bad. Even though my sister sent it to me as a beacon of hope I did the same thing at first. But today, I decided after a day of worry that I would commit to watching it and receiving its message.
When you read that what does it say to you? Have you ever been in love? Really and TRULY been in love? I asked myself that very question and if I’m quite honest the answer may very well be no for me. I have loved and been loved in return but not to that description that you see above.
Love is kind? Love does not envy? Love is patient? Love does not insist in having its own way?
Ay. Talking about starting over at square one with my idea on true amore.
I went back to church on Sunday and as I was walking up the gravel road to the campus (Yes I wore more sensible shoes this time) I started thinking about love. Like what does it really mean? In any situation whether it be a friend, family, lover, some random person you cross paths with…. What is love really all about? Sure enough God popped up and said hello to me just in the unexpected way he had before in this church. One of the greeters handed me a pamphlet with an infectious grin on her face and inside was this….
HOLY FORREST GUMP MOMENT! “Somethang bite meeeey!” I mean geeeeez! That discussion on sabotage isn’t until next Sunday but you bet your sweet little tush that I will be there!!! That little card was enough to peak my attention even more as to what was filling my heart inside this church’s walls. It describes more of my notion of love than is comfortable for me to admit.
The current service I was attending was all about love and how we should love each other as God wants us to. Freely and openly and even if we don’t really want to. Normally, or at least I have been guilty of this, we think of love as Valentines day, wedding vows, marriage, Hallmark cards and warm fuzzies. While those are all forms of love I had never put into perspective that real love is different. its oh o much more that I thought. In love I have been unkind, I have been selfish, I have been jealous. Man that sucks to write and realize that. As many times as I have uttered the words, have I ever been woman enough to do more than just say them? One thought keeps creeping into my mind while I yearn for this one thing in my life that seems to elude me.
To receive love you have to live in love.
Now that to me is a smack you in the face kind of thought. Maybe love isn’t just meant to be solely felt in those three words that we so often throw around without real meaning. For me its beginning to mean being n love with life.
Being in love wit that unexpected cool breeze during my run when I was letting my mind distract me from how pretty the weather was.
Being in love with how friggin cute my dog is when she gets all spastic and wants to play when I’m in the middle of doing my abs.
Being in love with how many AMAZING friends that have been placed in my life. That have saved my life.
Being in love with my career that I have worked so hard for.
Being in love with my Mommy and how she prays EVERYDAY for my happiness so much that sometimes she sacrifices her own.
Bottom line is that I think, I hope, I PRAY that I’m onto something here. I want to live life in love no matter the circumstance. No matter the road that God is leading me towards. I am not going to be unrealistic and say that all my bitterness and resentment has floated away but I’m workin’ on it. Its been a long time coming so it won’t happen overnight. But this much I can say. I am closer than I was before.
This is a tough one for me to write. I’m not really sure about how I can dance around the subject so I’ll just come out with it. Lately I have been truly questioning my faith in GOD. Yes the girl that has a Cross, The Dove Of Peace, and Psalm 27:14 forever inked on her body is unsure as to whether or not GOD is truly listening. It seems as though my life for the past five years…or maybe even longer than that has been littered with heartache. Now I know that my kind of heartache could be considered a day at Disneyland in comparison to what TRUE heartache looks like, but in my selfish world I feel like I have cried a lot of tears.
As I type this my mind starts to run away from me as to why I began writing in the first place. Oh yea, feather-like faith.
I have always believed in GOD because its what I was raised with. Perhaps that’s not entirely true. I believed in God enough to ask him for good things, enough to praise him when good things came around. But never enough to trust him when I was in the dumps. I would always turn to a friend, boyfriend or whatever else I could grasp onto to give me the pep talk that would give me strength for another day. As you can probably tell that hasn’t worked out so well for me.
I’m not going to go into detail about the array of crap that has gone down in my life that most recently brought me to this point because in all honesty its the same shit different day. I’m about to be 32 in a week. Where does this chaos end?
With God? Er… WITH GOD!
I am supposed to say that with gusto and certainty right? I’m ashamed to say but that has been hard for me. I never thought I would admit that for whomever in reading this to see. But there ya have it.
So tonight something happened. I’m not gonna call it a monumental change in me because I still feel pretty heavy. But something did in fact happen. I decided to go back to church tonight and try out this new one called Crosspoint. Its big with lots of stage trappings, sound systems, and a HUGE amount of people go and worship there. That had me a little timid but I needed to ask God a few things. So I went.
I pull up to the packed parking lot where volunteers are waving the cars to a far away lot in the back. I’m thinking boy did I ever wear the wrong type of shoes for this. Typical me. My mind is suppose to be on God and I’m thinking about my shoes. I start trekking up to the church campus on a gravel road and notice a group of women and their kids getting into a golf cart shuttle. I keep walking thinking there wasn’t going to be room for me, but just then a beautiful lady calls out to me and says “There’s room for one more. Save your shoes!” Well then…that’s my kind of lady! I get in and sort of mindlessly listen to their conversation about how their little girls wanted to sit in the back of the golf cart. The women were joking about how when you grow up and have kids that you have to give up things like Pop Tarts and sitting in the back of the golf cart to let the kids have their fun. I though that was so unselfishly adorable. I often envy people like this lady and wonder why I can’t be so selfless and take pleasure in small things like Pop Tarts. I haven’t had a Pop Tart in yeeeaaars!
There I go again. Getting off track.
Back to Feather-like Faith. So as the service started it was much of the same for me. The songs were wonderful and uplifting and I started to cry. My eyeballs burst open like Niagara falls anytime I go to church. Something this time was different though. I felt empty, with no connection to where I was and what was happening around me. I figured for sure that even though my faith was fragile that I would get to church and feel it all come upon me like a cleansing wave. Nope. Wasn’t happening and it was scaring the hope right out of me that I couldn’t feel anything but pain. I gave it another song or two and finally sat down among this sea of standing believers and started to pray in the most honest way that I could.
“God are you there?” “God why don’t you love me anymore?” “God why can’t I feel you?” “God please touch me and let me know you are there.” “God I am here waiting for you.”
That’s when some thing that could only be described as a wicked coincidence or God answering me happened. I’m thinking it has to be the latter.
As I sat there with my head down and my hands clasped together I felt someone hugging me from behind. It was a woman and she was frail but so warm in her embrace that I started to bawl. She held me a little while longer as I tried to catch my breath and whispered in my ear “God put me in that carriage next to you for a reason and it wasn’t because of your shoes.”
WOA. Whaaaaaaaaat? I was stunned, hopeful and blubbering with tears at this point. The lady from the golf cart! I was still trying to process and get a hold of my waterworks when she she said something that I couldn’t quite make out over the singing but I think she said “God wants you to know that he’s here with you.”
This only made me sob harder but she she held onto me and let me weep. The thing is, that even though this was a perfect stranger I held onto her as if my life in that moment depended on it. I dunno perhaps it did. There is something to that. Trusting in a perfect stranger promising me that God has this thing I call life handled. Isn’t faith all about trust?
Another song began and I was able to stand but this angel was’t going to leave my side just yet. She jumped over the row and stood beside me, letting me know that she AND God were still there. She stayed beside me though the rest of the song and the short service. After the lights came on we talked a bit and she told me her name. Lisa. Which is my Aunts name as well. Lisa told me that if I wanted a family to worship with that I could be part of her family. Tears came in waves again. She hand wrote her number on a little card and told me it was not a cell but her house number where she could be found 90% of the time. She asked for my number and wrote it on another little card and put it back into her purse that I noticed was filled with Christian books. I then gave her another gripping hug which was returned with the same strength and I said goodbye and that I hoped to hear from her soon. Which I have no doubt that I will.
As for my Feather-like Faith? I can’t say that it is completely restored to where it should be but I will say this. Thank you GOD for small miracles.
This has been my mantra the last few days. Or at least I have tried to make it that way. There a days that waking up at 4 am makes for an UBER grumpy R!LEY during the day. It’s almost as if every little errand or chore becomes a huge effort. What? I have to buy toilet paper? The tub is looking grimy? The garbage needs to be taken out? Car is super dirty? Laundry? Meh. It can wait until after my nap.
Well. I need to pep it up. Gotta get my “Hut-To-Hut-To” on.
I need to complain less.
I need cherish more.
I need to smile more.
Mind over matter. Mind Over Matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter.
Say it with me….MIND OVER MATTER.
The other day I was recording something in the studio when I hit a road block. Its like writing block only with your mouth. Yea, mouth block in no fun when its your job to talk. My day was only half over and I felt so deflated. I just wanted to curl into a ball and nap. This may sound cheesy, but I literally just repeated “Mind Over Matter” to myself and it was just the self-pep talk that I needed.
Just as a side note, I LOVE my job and could not imagine doing anything else. It’s a part of who I am. Even if it causes wrinkles and baggy eyelids. 🙂
Even though I have a lot more challenges ahead of me as I step into the next phase of my life and have a husband and hopefully a family of my own, I need to keep am open mind and just breath through it. (Yes people I know it gets worse after you have kids) Everyday that I get through minus the “I don’t wanna attitude” is like a trophy for me.
Mind Over Matter. Mind Over Matter. Mind Over Matter.
I saw this and it got me thinking. Well to be honest I have been doing some thinking on the subject of friendship for a minute and today I feel like opening up about it. When your little you make friends on the playground, and if your lucky you keep them close in some way shape or form for the rest of your life. Or at least that’s what the movies and kid books would have you believe.
Well, I was not that girl that had a lot of childhood friends. I always had one or two besties around but they seemed to recycle every few years. There was never that one rock solid girlfriend to turn to. I know some people that have a handful of people that they can say they have know for X amount of years and are still incredibly close with them. Confession I am jealous of these people.
In order for this to not be a complete pity party, I will say I have two or three girlfriends that are really close to me. The one I’ve known the longest of these ladies is the ONLY friend I can say that knew me before my name was R!LEY. And honestly, that is why I completely trust her. She has seen me at my worst, best, and then worst again. She has never judged or told me what to do. She gives me her opinion freely and honestly. She does it in such a way that and I just listen.
I feel like I need to give a disclaimer here. I’m not discounting any of the other close friendships I have acquired over the last few years. I am incredibly grateful for them too. But that’s really not what this rant is about.
When I started planning my wedding there was a few people that I just knew would be there by my side that are just nowhere in sight today. You know what they say…weddings bring out the best and worst in people. I do think it’s a God sent that I have shed these people from my life but it still hurts.
You see, when I make a friend they are usually with me for life. Even if I end up despising them later. There is always something in me that will remember the good in them even if they have wronged me.
Geez this is becoming a pity party rant.
Basically what i’m trying to say is that I’m trying to trim the fat in my life before I embark on a new journey. That journey being becoming a new wife and God willing a mom.
I have shed the “radio friends”.
I have shed the fair weather friends.
I have shed the friends that were a complete caricature of who I really thought they were.
Crappy. But true.
Any advice on this? How do you fully let go of “freinds” that are really frenemies?